Step Four: Bile Burns

I'm physically ill tonight with fears and thoughts of wonders lost. Opportunity at the loss of ones happiness is the farthest thing from fair. The world doesn't have to be so cruel. We need not be so pessimistic in our ways and makes others suffer, like pawns that we may use and abuse to make our own way in life. Which brings another searing question into my mind, why is there no love for self expression? As children we are encouraged, (forced on occasions!) to be different, to stand out as an individual. Wear these clothes and do this to your hair or what have you, just be yourself. At this age, being an individual is synonymous with "attention-seeker". What harm is it to go against the grain every now and again? How many cashiers do you see with rainbow hair or maybe even just a pin on their shirt because they like it? "Dare to be different," was the motto when we were young. Now it's a threat to your future. God forbid you should come to work wearing anything even remotely against the dress code. You'll be sent home to change, or worse, to not come back. Like a rebellious teenager wearing menacing attire to match the expression on their face. It's degrading and judgmental and above all, unnecessary. We put on this face for the outside world hiding who we are and then we do the unthinkable: wonder why we can't find genuine friendships. Maybe if you hadn't hidden yourself from everyone you might've found someone just like you, or unlike you, or whatever you look for in a person. We cannot continue to lie to ourselves and everyone else and expect to find companions. We do a huge disservice to ourselves by following the rules. I will continue to be who I am until is kills me, and it never really will, will it? Can it, even? Is it possible that one's self-identity is self destructive? What it all boils down to is this: You can let rules tie you down or make them yourself and be free.