Justin:

Are you feeling what I'm feeling?
Or is this disillusioned dreaming
the thing that got me so far down.
It seems next time,
you won't be around to talk me down.
What's appropriate for our situation
doesn't quite cut it
as cleanly as my blade did.
Though the scars fade,
the pain remains.
This is a new crisis.
This is a new and foreign world to me.
I won't push for sympathy,
but when you push me,
it does hurt.
I do feel it where my heart resides.
And though you don't realize
the tears dripping from my burning eyes
are for you and only you.

Nobody wins at solitaire.
In the end, I'll still be alone.
And here, my heart aches for it's home
with you.
In these dark hours
I wonder
what all of this is worth.
The suffering I've endured
this long, lonely year.
I never meant to keep you waiting,
but to be fair,
you had the chance to end it.
"It" being whatever we have,
if anything at all.
I just want to  hear your voice,
feel your body against mine.
Not in lust, but pure affection.
My dreams are broken.

S.O.T.I.A.

Is it because you don't understand the way I write?
Is it because I don't convey emotion when I type?
With every text I send, it seems I learned less and less
of the good ol' English language.
God, we're such an awful mess.
Myspace died in the Facebook wars;
I photoshop'd your boyfriend's p33n on a tyrannosaurus
.gifs of the Twin Towers crumbling down
fused with nyan-cat.
It's just disappointing now,
the level at which our youth has stooped.
Saying things like, "your mom", "epic fail" and "doof".
14 year-olds are having sex,
5th graders use profanity.
'Cause to these kids publicity seems to be their everything.
You came from an average, broken suburban home.
Talking on your mobile phone, you dream of your own mTV show.
But little did you know, cyber bullying's quite a crime.
Now with a little girls blood on your hands, you'll learn what doing time
really meant from watching shows like "Scared Straight".
What happened to spreading love?
Calm down and mast3rb8.
Lord knows you'll be saving your mom the money
from paying for you now ex-girlfriends's abortion.
I think it's kinda funny.
Take it or leave it from a student of the info age.
No one can hear you from inside your electronic cage.

Exes + "ooh"s

Get into me, turn back time
Let me believe that you're still mine
I watched my walls come down fast
like your teeth on my neck
Despite connection, I'm sore all over
and over again
I don't mind the teasing,
but pleasing me seems low
on your list
I couldn't blame you, but it's a shame,
isn't it?
We were good together, at least
I've been lead to believe it
Your feelings were a blessing
'cause I thought I'd found my match
Someone to listen to my preaching,
someone that'd sprint
to catch a glimpse of how hard I was falling down
Down like your teeth
on my neck

Mayhem, get down from there.

...

I mean it. Get down now.

And what if I don't? 

You know damn well.

Tell me again.

If it'll get you down...

Chaos padded lightly toward the window.

You know I need you... And you know it isn't your time.

What're you? Father time? I'll die when I want to.

Mayhem's tail twitched slightly with aggravation.

Rational thinking was never your forte, huh?

Why do I have to suffer?

Trust me. You don't know Suffering yet.

Janine:

Everything you say to me causes me to think irrationally.

And naturally, this is who I wanted not to be.

So, if you please, take a minute, let it sink inside.

Now, tell me what you see with more than your eyes.

Use your mind.

Every lecture makes me lesser cause I’m thinking of the things I keep on doing wrong.

Question me about their lyrics, I just like to hear the songs.

And every thought, every sound revolves around what my surroundings used to be.

Is this really how I’ve been reflecting me?

All these 4 letter words meant nothing but relief.

Just a way to make the pain fade faster than a cliche charade.

I guess I learned it from my mother, but who else is there to blame?

Every action brings me closer while I try to get away.

I notice nothing makes me feel at home these days, it’s not the same.

So I’ll sit here and eat away the things I cannot change.

I hope you realize how your words have worked against me in this way.

Kayla:.

Pain disguised 

behind

BLUE

EYES

RED 

LIPS

that give 

a sweeter

kiss.

You really are the love of

~my life~

Diamond Dementia-CuddleDeath

Look into me.

The stars in your eyes make everything so crystal clear.

All these racing colors, 

letter codes and numbers seem to transorm the words I hear

into something so much more sincere.

Diamond dementia,

it's a technicolor dream

showing you motion picture scenes

of all the things your mama told you not to be.

Diamond dementia,

it's the real reality.

Once you're there, you'll never leave.

Just promise me you won't fall in too deep.

Almost affection,
Breaking my heart, partners in
Crime right from the start
Deadly desires,
Evenings unfair,
Forgetting my place,
Grievance I bear
Hardly hatred,
Insidious dreams,
Jokingly mend me,
Kill me, please
Lovely lies, bitching and
Moaning,
Noir fantasies, freely
Owning,
Personified portrait,
Quietly scheming,
Revealing my
Secrets, kicking and screaming,
Terminal, tearing,
Understatement,
Vicious and
Weary,
Xanax misplacement,
Yearning yearly,
Zealous and shameless, desperate, dreaming, clearly hopeless.
But you still stuck around with this wondergirl bummer.
And your voice plays over the soundtrack of my summer.

Abandonment

Amber eyes disguised behind ebony hair,

a sad disposition, noir wings; fur, fair.

Distance traveled by one being never proved to be so quick.

Murder is caused, eternal hurt, all negatives through Abandonment. 

[XXX]

Drink it dry, let me out...
LET ME OUT.
I am your temptation.
I am your dream come true and your greatest nightmare.
You love me, you hate me.
And you can't live without me.
I am the addiction that slowly takes your life.
I will destroy you, but you'll feel like you're king of the world.
Drink it dry, let me out...
LET ME OUT!

Flatline

Fall in time to your mother's lullaby.
After all, you;re thinking too much.
(Bring me home.)
Light your candles, light the way.
I can't see your face.
Now that all is dark, I wish I had time.
Even in death, I can hear my flatline.

What ever happened to a good old fashioned fuck?

Your bed. Your bed. Your bed is in my head.
Right where we fucked. We fucked. I just couldn't get enough.
So will you please me, please? I'm gettin' down on my knees.
Ain't got no time for clichés, and I don't wanna beg.
We got that symmetry. The way we work together; is it synergy?
I know you like the little sinner in me. So come on baby, will you please me, please?

XLETXMEXOUTX

Permanently 5 years old.
I am.Remember? You were too.
When we splashed in puddles,
ignoring the rain. Ignoring the lightning.
That's my fondest memory of you.
It plays in my mind like a movie.
That was the last time I'd see you smile
without lust in your eyes.
You've changed.

[Everyone changes.]

~Silas~

Cracks and creases map out my veins.
Blood flowing through flesh left maimed.
Sharper my savior; Whiter my skin.
Death brings me freedom, Freedom of sin.

Inspiration

Where did it go?
My inspiration blocked by some unknown force.
When will it leave me alone?
I want fill theses pages with meaningful phrases.
Not senseless stanzas for the sake of writing
to keep my mind occupied.

Some friend you turned out to be.

When the tides change,
Where will you be?
You stay high and dry
manipulating the sea.
Destroying me.

Sweet teen Abbi Reed

Behind her hazel eyes
drips the blood
of Daddy's little angel.
Mother's sweet teen
Abbi Reed.

Conception

Plaid clad teens and
rock guitars,
Family wars,
Cigarettes.
Dancing like we don't know what to do.
Feel the beat, the beat of our hearts.
We are young, We are strong.
We are alive.

More mindless madness.

So I'm just a teenage dirtbag?

We've more in common than I thought.

--------------------------------------

Could you give me a hand in not giving a damn?

I'd like a taste of your sweet salvation!

--------------------------------------

Justifying sexual

Urges.

Damn

Anarchy, A freaks

Savior.

--------------------------------------

If I see one more hyundai sonata, I might just go insane.

--------------------------------------

BRICKS + PRICKS

Bricks in a wall?
Bricks in a wall.
My wall of isolation.
If we are the wall
then what protects us?
Or are we waiting to be
.: b r o k e n :.

Insanity

Into the abyss
No clear objective
Save the fuckin' princess
And save the day
No real compensation
In all this trouble
To repeat the horrors of
Yesterday

~dallusional~

Miss pretty-in-pink needs a shrink.
A jock's stuck in the closet.
The emo kid ran away again
with the ginger and the hobbit.
A queer in tears and the homecoming queen
are having it out in the hallway.
My locker got dented when Grayson repented.
Jesus, high school is boring.

My Dear Nancy~

Hurt won't last.
Eternally you are my friend.
Remember, if I can,
Only times you've tried
In vain.
Never leave my side.

And in time you'll
Do me in.
Deadly attraction
In someone I'm
Certain I never knew.
Tracks prove it was you.

My dearest Nancy:.
[2.27.58-10.12.78]

Fueled By Nostalgia

My insane ramblings grow longer.

They come from deeper, within my eyes.

And when I'm all cried out.

I cant seem to think.

i start losing my mind

and my care

---------------------------------------

"When I see your face..."

...it's like lightning strikes my heart.

I can feel it breaking.

I can hear it fall apart.

If I glue it back together,

the pieces might not match.

Maybe you can fix it for me.

I promise not to get attached.

------------------------------------

Pretty little liars?

Lies made me uglier than sin.

I've fucked all that I had

and destroyed what I could've been.

My soul's been running on empty

since the day I was conceived.

The Earth will lay in ruins

if I state all I believe.

----------------------------------

Novacaine:.

Needles piercing

Overwhelming; Feeling helpless

Vacant, madness

Acting out against your parents

Call it sadness

Angst and crisis

Inside, outside

Numb but throbbing

Everlasting, ever-longing

The Company of Myself

I am one who finds help
in the company of myself.
I am one who climbs high
to watch the sun rise.
I am one who traveled far
to find myself in someone else,
to find what I’ve been looking for.

I found you.

Story of a Lifetime

Still, I sit so close. Yet I’m so very far away.
Touch the surface of an other world.
Often I would dream of how I’d get there.
Reaching out to this parallel universe.
Years wasted, journeying through my mind.

On first glance, a simple mirror.
Further in is all I ever dreamed of.

At last, I find the answer.

Life’s mysteries solved by one realization.
Infinite wants can only hold you back.
Find what you need in life.
Euphoria, imagination.
Turn your dreams into reality.
Inside this mirror, the perfect world lay waiting.
Missing, one thing is still not whole.
Everlong, I am incomplete.

Affliction

Afterlife, you've come too soon.
Fear within our
Friendship
Lay waiting
In your
Cold and longing stare.
Tension building
Inward, upward
On a rise to
Nowhere

hearts burst into fire

What is my life?

Wondering, wandering, holdin' onto silly things.
All alone, on my own, terrified now that you're gone.
It took too long to notice, I'm sinking deeper as I note it
Mixed ignorance and hate, yearning for love I had betrayed.
Listen closely, if you're feelin' down and lonely.
Friends can help you or hurt, you only earn what you're worth.

Downtown, train wreck, losers with one-track minds.
It's do or die tonight, if dying means losing the fight.
Drum sets beating! My peers, my fears will fester.
Stuck in this midnight terror, holding out till you say never.
Don't take my words for granted. It costs more than you could fathom.
Occupy my time, I promise not to waste your heart.

Don't Lie to Me

Desperation struck gold.
Oh, my heart went cold much to quick.
Now it's cracking and no one's around to fix it.
This is the end.
"Let it be."
I can't stand the way I hurt you so.
Even I didn't deserve not to know.
Over and over I told you, "It's okay. Maybe someday.."
Even thought of foREVer; always and never.

Hate Me

Haven't you heard?
I've been on top of the world.
Sittin' in my lonely throne.
All for one.
And who are you to disagree?
I was never one for cliches
It wasn't me, it was you.
"After all we've been through..."
You were a tickin' time bomb.
All your sad songs.
Never thought that I'd be the one to set you off.
I could cry all night about how I didn't mean it.
That I should've seen it.
But what good would it do?
It wasn't me , it was you...

[What have I done to you?]

Vengeance Breeds Obsession

Victorious? Or energy wasted?
No thought. Can't go back in time to erase it.
Annihilated was every chance that I got.
Whether you see it or not, I cared enough to have fought
everyone who broke your heart.
From the start I realized I would get lost
in everything that I "taught".
Even when I saw it, distorted were my thoughts.
So I pushed on, ignoring all that I did wrong.
Believe me, I've seen it.
Even you tried to deceive me.
So cold and crazy, I thought you were my baby.
Sick wishes- things I never thought that I would say.
One thing before you leave, never come back if you won't stay.

RED ROOM

Reaching out, I'm trapped inside
Every
Door, Nowhere to hide

Revolver
On the dresser,
Obliterate
My mind.